Seriously? Any of you eat this shit from McDs? Please tell me you don’t. The only thing more disgusting is scat play.

At least the people who like to be shit on know they are eating shit and don’t lie to themselves.

IMHO

I’m so glad the holidays are now upon us. Christmas is always a special time for me - getting crap I don’t need, eating too much, singing praise about the birth of everyone’s favorite cosmic Jewish zombie.  Anyway, I think what Christmas reminds me of the most are the times with my grandmother. I remember one christmas eve at our yearly family get together when I shared some special time with my grandmother:

“Timmy,” said my grandma, “come sit on my lap.” I thought I was getting too big for sitting on her lap. I was almost in seventh grade! To be nice though, I sat on her lap and was surprised to find I still just barely fit.

 ”Timmy,” grandma said, “now that you’re older and past the birds and the bees, I’ll let you in on a little secret about the ladies.”

“What’s that, grandma?” I asked awkwardly, and making sure no one else was listening so I wouldn’t get embarassed.

“Timmy, what you need to know about us ladies is that if it wasn’t for pussy, there’d be a bounty on us.”

“Ok, Grandma.”

I ran off that night not thinking much of our talk. I’ve since grown up and now have a family of my own. But every Christmas since, I’ve always thought of that special time with my grandma one Christmas eve, and of how right she really was.

Amen and pass the potata’s.

Timmy

Grape Kool-Aid. Why does grape Kool-Aid give you green poop? listen

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Well, sometimes Jott just doesn’t get it right. This is a good example of that. I called, left a message, it left out parts, got things wrong, etc. While the mistakes are usually funny, it’s not so funny when it’s missing parts of the message.

I like big butts and I cannot lie. Ok, I lied, I hate big butts. I want nice normal sized butts.

Audio blog post, transcription unavailable listen

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Hey all. It is me, taking a shit and posting here on Hoopee! Man I love these internet gadgets. I mean, seriously, why sit here pooping and doing nothing when I could be dropping the kids off at the pool and at the same time surfing or something else.

Do you think the other people in the bathroom wonder what is going on when they hear a camera shutter sound from my phone?

Doing my business, originally uploaded by alienmeatsack.

Ok, I hate the stuff like everyone else does. So why is it that over 50% of our internet bandwidth is wasted with the stuff and NO ONE can do anything about it?

With that said aside, I get a few gems in my email here and there and thought I’d post a few of the more interesting titles for you…

Re: The pelican one, what the fuck?